CC Riley

It seems like every time I turn around I’m writing another blog about change. Some may think that I am never content in the path that I am on, but that is not the case. The truth is that I am on a constant search for true happiness in all areas of my life, and I find nothing wrong with that.

At the end of my last semester as an undergraduate student, I vaguely remember saying that I hated school and that I didn’t plan on getting my masters. Those of you who are my closest friends knew that that was a lie. I don’t know if I will ever be able to not be in school. After working less than a month in the salon full time, I realized that I don’t know if I want to do hair for the rest of my life.

It’s actually funny how it all worked out. When I was at work I was thinking about the books I was reading at home, and when I was at home, I was reading the book. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that my future did lie somewhere where the pages turn and the story continues, even after you put down the book with that sigh of contentment.

The next little section is a copy of one of the essays that I wrote for a scholarship application for graduate school at Arkansas Tech University. I think that it conveys why I can’t be content where I’m at and why I have no choice but continue on.

“Mary Kelley said, ‘There is no substitute for books in the life of a child.’ How could I not agree with this, when one book changed my life? When I was in the 6th grade, I read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, a book that was causing such a fuss because of the subject matter was the book that gave me an interest and a hope. Before I read it, I was your average kid: I liked television and video games and being inside. After I read it, it was as if a light had turned on. I had a newly acquired and insatiable urge to read, and I did. This never changed. When I went to acquire my undergraduate degree, I majored in English and minored in Creative Writing because I can’t see myself not surrounded by books.

Now that I have a little bit of perspective, I know that I want to be a librarian. One book changed my life, and I now know that even the most uninterested people can love to read because of one book. I want to introduce this aspect of my past into schools. When I read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, it was as if a light had come on, and I want to help turn that light on for others. This is my passion, because if an individual doesn’t read, then that individual will life a life surrounded by closed doors. I want to help open those doors.”

This is passion. This is the heart of the matter for me. And as long as the wind keeps blowing me in this direction, this is the direction that my tree will blow in. Go where the wind directs you.

I woke up this morning at half past six. I’m at home, spending time with my family for one of my little sisters birthdays. She’s turning 13. This birthday is a big one. Astronomical in size compared to the last several. How do I feel about this? I’m not sure. You see, this year we have had a few big birthdays, but turning 13 is a rite of passage, a coming of adulthood, a time to acquire responsibilities and develop a sense of self.

My other little sister will be turning 11. 11 is also a big deal. She will be transferring schools, going through the swift transition from elementary school to the big kid world of middle school.

These changes are part of growing up, the only part of being a big sister that I’m not a fan of. I want them to stay small and stay safe, but unfortunately I can’t keep them small and at some point I will have to step back and just be an onlooker in their lives.

I have so many precious memories that involve them as children, but the time to treat them as adults draws ever nearer. So happy birthday, little sisters! Because that’s really the only thing I can say.

CC

I woke up this morning at half past six. I’m at home, spending time with my family for one of my little sisters birthdays. She’s turning 13. This birthday is a big one. Astronomical in size compared to the last several. How do I feel about this? I’m not sure. You see, this year we have had a few big birthdays, but turning 13 is a rite of passage, a coming of adulthood, a time to acquire responsibilities and develop a sense of self.

My other little sister will be turning 11. 11 is also a big deal. She will be transferring schools, going through the swift transition from elementary school to the big kid world of middle school.

These changes are part of growing up, the only part of being a big sister that I’m not a fan of. I want them to stay small and stay safe, but unfortunately I can’t keep them small and at some point I will have to step back and just be an onlooker in their lives.

I have so many precious memories that involve them as children, but the time to treat them as adults draws ever nearer. So happy birthday, little sisters! Because that’s really the only thing I can say.

CC

I woke up this morning at half past six. I’m at home, spending time with my family for one of my little sisters birthdays. She’s turning 13. This birthday is a big one. Astronomical in size compared to the last several. How do I feel about this? I’m not sure. You see, this year we have had a few big birthdays, but turning 13 is a rite of passage, a coming of adulthood, a time to acquire responsibilities and develop a sense of self.

My other little sister will be turning 11. 11 is also a big deal. She will be transferring schools, going through the swift transition from elementary school to the big kid world of middle school.

These changes are part of growing up, the only part of being a big sister that I’m not a fan of. I want them to stay small and stay safe, but unfortunately I can’t keep them small and at some point I will have to step back and just be an onlooker in their lives.

I have so many precious memories that involve them as children, but the time to treat them as adults draws ever nearer. So happy birthday, little sisters! Because that’s really the only thing I can say.

CC

I’m going through a phase. Books that I read in high school and middle school are more appealing to me now at a more mature age than they were when I first read them. This phase began when I read Fablehaven by Brandon Mull. It is an excellent story of growth and belief. I highly recommend this book to all who read, especially if you love fantasy. This is the first part to a series that consists of five books. After reading Fablehaven, I decided to read Inkheart by Cornelia Funke again.

One of the things that I am realizing as I’m reading these books is that because I am a part of an older and more mature generation than when I first read them is that these books were teaching me. I grew up in a world of black and white, right and wrong, but unfortunately life is not as easy to categorize as that. In Inkheart, one of the characters makes a bad decision (no, I’m not going to spoil it, but you can pick up a copy at your local bookstore, or you can purchase a copy on Amazon.) that upon first reading caused me to despise him. I though that he was the most selfish character in the book. Now, second time through, knowing his motivation, and seeing the other characters in a more complete light showed me that all of the characters were quite selfish, but that as human beings, we’re all selfish.

Children’s books and stories are full of questions about morality, right and wrong, and seeing not just the surface of an individual. When a character in a book makes a decision that we, as readers, think is horrible, we automatically categorize them as part of the bad guys. Later, when we see their true intentions and motivations, we are forced to see a sort of desperation behind the actions, in a way validating the character.

So what does all of this matter? Most of you readers don’t have children yet, and some of you don’t want children at all, but for those of you who do see children in the future, however far away or close that future may be, remember the importance of a child learning to read and being read to. In a world of greys, children need to be able to see the larger picture, and I’m pretty sure there are quite a few adults that need to be able to look at life through a more perceptive lens as well. Books teach us this, and the sooner we learn it, the more compassionate and caring we will be as individuals.

Needless to say, I have been busy. Really busy. So busy in fact that my most entertaining readers have been sending my facebook inquiries about when I will write again. Needless to say that literally made my day. I forget sometimes that I am not just writing for myself, I am writing for the people who read what I write as well. So first, thank you to all of my faithful readers. You make it difficult to put down my pen.

The Breakdown: The last two months have been a hot mess, but an amazing hot mess. On May 8th, Nathan and I both graduated from college, receiving our undergraduate degrees, mine in English and Creative Writing, his in Business Marketing. That is a big accomplishment for both of us. Then, on May 10th, I turned 21. It was an eventful day to say the least, and I’ll spare you the boring details. The rest of May was spent finalizing the wedding, finishing up showers, writing thank you cards, and preparing for the big day.

Then the wedding came. It was beautiful.

The church was amazing, the people were amazing, the band was amazing. It was the wedding I could never have accomplished without the mounds of support and help that I received.

Next: We decided to move the weekend after we got married, probably because we are crazy. Now we live in a duplex type thing with some of our best friends living right next door. It is a definite step up and we love it. Now that most of everything is back in order, it is time to start writing again. I told one of my closest friends a couple of days ago that I haven’t written anything since school was finished. I think I was just creatively burned out because of the massive amounts of stress that I was under for six months straight.

It feels good to blog, and readers, I hope it feels good to read.

A few days ago I did a post where I talked about the lack of morality in our society, and ended with a few of my questions. Sometimes, I forget just how smart Mr. Bazyk is, and his response was completely enlightening. I thought I would share in case some of you readers had similar questions.

Nathan’s Response:

Now, as for all the crazy morality stuff. Since I have taken about 18 hours worth of philosophy classes (including one titled “Contemporary Moral Problems”) I feel obligated to respond. In regards to:

1) What we as people are supposed to do-Although morals are acted out by individuals, their “right-ness” or “wrong-ness” is mostly decided by society. Different societies have different moral/ethical codes that can make what someone does in one country “right” and in another country “wrong”. For example, in the days of the samurai there was the custom of “testing a new sword”. When the samurai received his new blade he would walk to the outskirts of town and wait in the brush by the roadside. He would wait until he saw someone walking into town alone and then attempt to cut them in half. This was the sword’s test. So although it may not be “right” for the samurai to do that by American standards, it was accepted by the Japanese culture. We as people are supposed to do our best to understand that morality is a growing part of each and every person. Just because you find a person’s actions “immoral” doesn’t meant that they are permanent. People can change, and part of being human is helping other humans.

2) What to do when your morals are different from someone else’s-There is no reason why you should do anything you wouldn’t normally do just because someone else has an opposing value system. However, in adolescent years, people do try to conform to the values of their peers while uprooting, or at least reevaluating, the values of their parents. This is just how the world is. There are a few basic rules that society has in place that keep things somewhat orderly. For instance, we don’t just kill people. It’s not a good way to progress as a society. If we had no value on human life then we would all be locked away, afraid to communicate and interact with other people because they could just kill us.That makes procreation difficult and therefore the norm was established.
3) Society- I believe that the problem with society isn’t a lack of moral/ethical understanding but instead I believe society places too much importance on the norms of our culture. If you asked 1000 people, individually, about their feelings on moral issues then asked the same 1000 people the same questions as a whole, your answers would vary dramatically. People don’t want to stick out, it’s hard to swim upstream. Speaking from an evolutionary standpoint, you stick out and you die. There is safety in numbers but when it comes to morals people need to be more introspective and less dependent on society. Go out in the world and do what YOU think is right. But don’t be surprised if someone says you’re wrong.

“

The Road goes ever on and on

Out from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

Let others follow it who can!

Let them a journey new begin,

But I at last with weary feet

Will turn towards the lighted inn,

My Evening rest and Sleep to meet.”

Perfection, Mr.Tolkien.

I did it. I made it to this point. After three years of toiling with little or no break for my mind, I am here. I recently exited the bus for higher education and I feel like I am back where I began, but in a good way.

Three years isn’t that long of a time in retrospect, but I know how long it felt. I have no idea what I’m going to do with my free time now. I’ve never had free time before. If I was off work, I was supposed to be doing homework. If I was off during the week at any time, I had class then homework. I feel overwhelmed with free time. For example, I’m drinking my coffee and writing a blog and occasionally I feel the need to have a spasm because normally, blogging was my means of procrastination.

Yes, yes, I know I’m planning a wedding. That won’t be horrible now that I’m not planning a wedding, trying to graduate and working too many hours. I love my job though! And, next… Is FRAMESI! =) I literally can’t be more excited about that.

Anyways, I just thought you would all like to know that I have finally reached my goal. Celebrate with me, because I am definitely celebrating!

PS- My 21st birthday is Monday! Finally. Since all of my friends turned 21 ages ago.

I know what you’re thinking. That title does suggest that there is a lot going on in my mind lately, and that is true.

Let’s start at the top… 4 Tests. There are officially 4 finals standing between me and freedom. 1 Tuesday, 1 Wednesday, and 2 Thursday. All will be only partially gruesome. I also would like to inform you that one of my teachers will be lecturing during the final because he didn’t get everything covered. It’s a really good thing that I like Keats.

Partial Sanity. Whatever do you mean? you ask. Well, it’s kind of like this. I have 4 finals, my 21st birthday, my future brother-in-law’s graduation from college, 2 wedding showers, and 1 wedding standing between me and my full sanity. If it hasn’t completely died from lack of oxygen.

Now, moral ambiguity.

mor·al   [mawr-uhl, mor-] Show IPA
–adjective

11.
morals, principles or habits with respect to right or wrong conduct.

**This was borrowed from dictionary.com and a link has been provided with the word “Moral”

Why did I give you all of those definitions for moral? Because. There are quite a few definitions, some saying similar things and some not, but with so many definitions what is a person to do? And not only are the numerous definitions confounding, but the fact that most all of them are based on the individual. An anthropologist would look at the society as a whole in order to discuss the morality of the group. But what are we as people supposed to do?

But, my question is what do you do when the morals that you live your life by, aren’t the same morals that someone else chooses to live by? How does this affect your decisions? Just because you choose not to murder the person in order to exact revenge doesn’t mean that the person next to you wouldn’t.

I’ve been reading a lot for the past three years that I have been in college, and one common thread that I can trace through probably 95% of those texts is the question of morality. It is present in Eragon, The Octopus, Harry Potter, Fablehaven, The Age of Innocence. It is everywhere. Just thoughts to chew on, because I’ve been chewing on them for a while now.

Are some of society’s problems partially do to a society with a lack of morality and ethical understanding? And who is to say what is moral and what isn’t if it is the individual’s thoughts and actions that matter?

Oh goodness, sorry to unload on you. But you’re the only audience I have. =)

CC

I’ve never seen the pile of laundry sitting this high. Never. It’s piled so high it won’t all fit into the three laundry baskets. It’s piled so high I’m quite afraid of what might be hiding underneath it.

This morning Willow walked by it and jumped. I think she saw something moving underneath it. Yesterday I tried to force it into the closet, unsuccessfully, and while I was gone the pile spread itself out so that it could cover more ground and take me out when I returned. It was almost successful.

While yesterday was a day of lasts, today will be a day of getting it together. I’m going to get rid of this pile of laundry so it will stop haunting my nightmares. At 2:00 I have a meeting with the wedding coordinator and the music man at the church to get things going for the wedding.

I’m so ready to get everything done and gain a little bit of control over my life back. Slowly I’m knocking things off of my list with a blunt ax.

On the upside, yesterday our offer was officially put in on the house of our choice. It’s so cute, and when we know for sure if it is ours, I’ll post some pictures so that everyone can enjoy it.

Well, that’s all that’s going on right now. Wish me luck.

CC