I’ve been reading a lot lately. I’ve devoured five books in the past week, and I don’t see my condition slackening at all. I thought, what better thing to talk about than the many books I’ve been reading of late.

It all began about two weeks ago with Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie by David Lubar. In this book, poor Scott is beginning his freshman year of high school. On top of that, he is now expecting a new sibling. His feelings are extremely complicated when he thinks about the many different ways that his life will be changing. The book is about those changes and he writes a sort of journal for his soon to be baby sibling about his experiences as a freshman, and what to look out for when it is his or her turn. The book is quite amusing and I highly recommend it.

Time for some of my favorite quotes, because this book was wit-filled, laugh out loud, pee your pants and embarrass yourself funny.

“At the first sight of her, even from a distance, I felt like I’d been stabbed in the gut with an icicle. I wanted to gather branches and build a shrine, or slay a mastodon and offer her the finest pieces, fresh from the hunt” (9).

“They stared at me like I’d just admitted I loved to eat crayons dipped in mayonnaise” (38)

“‘How’d you get girls to notice you?’
‘I never thought about it. I guess they just notice me. They’ll notice you, too. You’re a Hudson. We’ve got the power.’ Right. They’ll notice me. If I paint myself orange and glue hamsters to my shirt” (50).

“She’d gelled her hair into tons of tiny spikes, which made her head look like some sort of dangerous green vegetable of the sort that was always trying to kill the Mario Brothers. […] I wish she’d never loaned me the book. When people do favors for you, life gets complicated” (139).

Scott Hudson’s List of Good Things About Getting Beaten Up:

You don’t have to wait until nighttime to enjoy the stars.

It’s a great way to make sure your blood clots properly.

Bruises break up the monotony of an ordinary complexion.

It’s sort of fun to think about how much his fist must hurt.

It’s nice to know there really is a use for frozen peas.

Well, that’s all for now. Read the book, you won’t regret it. I practically swallowed it whole I read it so quickly, and all my friends were jealous because they weren’t in on the jokes.

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