I’m always amazed at how God chooses to show himself to me. Never in a shout or a raised voice, just in the little things. Today I saw beauty in the sky, lighting bolts and thunder, followed by a sunrise that made blue fade to violet, to red, to orange, to a yellow so pale it looked white and colorless.
Everyday I am fortunate enough to drive through the mountains on I-540 to Fort Smith, Arkansas. Talk about a beautiful drive. It’s beautiful now, after one of the hottest summers we have ever experienced, so I can’t imagine how beautiful it will be in the fall and then later in the spring. This drive gives me time to think and reflect on the day. I’m learning a lot about myself through this job and even more about myself through that valuable time in the morning and evening.
The thing with God is that I know he’s there and present. I see him in every part of my drive. The trees, the sunrise, the mountains, the lightning, the wind, the flowers, the everything. While I was driving this morning, I was listening to my iPod. Normally, I listen to a book, but today I turned the iPod on shuffle and let it play. I normally don’t listen to “Christian” music. I got turned off to that a long time ago because I realized that listening to “Christian” music didn’t make me a Christian. It did, however, make me feel like I had a right to some feeling of self righteous supremacy that no one has a right to.
I don’t pretend to be perfect. I doubt all the time. Sometimes my analytical mind does nothing but get into the way of my feelings and emotions. I’m always so divided by my emotions and my brain.
This morning when I put my iPod on shuffle, my only expectation was to listen to music and get ready for the day. Instead, I got a lesson on learning to depend more on God and less on myself. I had three songs in a row tell me that I can’t do it on my own. I’ve been bearing this weight of fear and anticipation about the upcoming year because I’ve been trying to bear it on my own. Who knew that God would communicate through my iPod? Now to take that communication to heart.