Today is my last first day of undergraduate. I’ve been advertising this since I woke up this morning. Basically if I could tell the whole world on loudspeaker, I would, because right now, I’m more excited than ever. I was so excited for my eight o’clock class this morning that I woke up at six. I even cracked a smile when I woke up. I went through my day as I normally would with that sickening smile plastered to my face because I am almost done.

Unfortunately, reality called and refused to just leave me a message. I went to my first class. I was excited. I mean, what person in their right mind wouldn’t be excited about a class called American Romanticism and Realism?

So, I’m excited. I walk in about five minutes early and make sure I’m in the right room. “This is Romanticism and Realism with Shumaker, right?” I learned to ask my freshman year. It’s always better to just ask your classmates than it is to argue with your teacher who for some reason doesn’t have you on the role. If you’re not on the role, you’re probably in the wrong class.

Everyone smiled and answered in the affirmative. There seemed to be no complications, until I chose my seat. I’m a third row, center kinda girl. I like to be in the middle, but definitely not in the front. The front scares me. Unfortunately, in this class, the third row, center only meant that I was sitting between a bunch of idiots. And not just any group of idiots, girly, fake laughing idiots. I tried my best to be patient. The angel on my shoulder won the battle and I didn’t make an ass of myself. Go me.

Then Shumaker came in. He seemed nothing but nice, and older man who has a short, slightly bushy white beard and hair. “Let’s go ahead and get these desks in a circle” he says. And then it begins. The annoying, I’m-too-smart-for-this girl on my right moves my desk. All of my stuff is sitting on MY desk, I stand up to gather my things and move my own desk, and she moves it for me. I didn’t ask. I didn’t even give her a meaningful look that said “my hands are full, could you please move this exceptionally light desk for me because I am nothing but lazy.”  Nothing that even resembled anything that would convey a message like that came out of my mouth. But she moved it anyway.

I tried to even lighten the mood. “So, I take it you’ve been in one of the circl-y style classes before?” That sounded nice, considering my inner demons wanted to throw her to the wolves for jacking with my stuff, right? I thought so. But her reply was just priceless. “No, I just don’t like the desks being in the middle. IT bothers me [insert yucky smile here].” Instead of replying that her lack of a sense of personal space and possessions bothered me, I decided to let it go. No need to make enemies on the first day.

But then, I’m forced to sit by her. I seriously considered relocating myself at this point, but I decided that I would look rude, and she was probably just being nice. The look on her face that said she recently had something nasty rubbed under her nose was ignored. I sat down. Class proceeded as normal.

Then it was over. As I was gathering my belongings and preparing to leave, before I could even get up and pick up my bag or my super awesome ghosty coffee cup, she was moving my desk back for me, while she glared at me. Because I was obviously not moving fast enough.

Next time, I’ll drink more coffee, and maybe, just maybe, I will move at the speed that she so obviously requires.

%d bloggers like this: