So, I skipped yesterday. I didn’t like the prompt and I couldn’t find a substitute, so I just skipped. Sorry if you waited for my post and found yourself disappointed. I just wasn’t that into it yesterday. I had a new kitchen on the brain because Nathan and I are finally talking to kitchen planners for the remodel that we’ve been planning since we moved into the house. I don’t want to give too many spoilers, but it is a beautiful design. Today in the December Challenge, Madi and I are letting you in on our fears.
At one point in my life, I would have had a hard time choosing a fear because I had so many, and I’m not referring to being afraid of spiders or being afraid of snakes. I’m talking about fear, “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” Now, those fears are mostly gone, but two remain.
The first fear that I have, and it isn’t one that I lose sleep over or anything, it is just something that when I think about it I get nervous, is that something could happen to Nathan and I would be alone. Just writing that statement caused a twitch in the pit of my stomach and an ache in my heart. I combat that fear by living as much as I can, by spending as much time together as possible.
The second fear that I struggle with is one that I would assume most over-achievers and type A personalities struggle with. I don’t want to be a failure. The problem is that I can’t seem to settle on a definition of failure. I think it is me giving up on what I want or what I love. If I ever stopped writing just because I wasn’t getting published would be a failure in my eyes. I would feel like a failure if I didn’t do what I loved because I was afraid of failing.
Failure has morphed as I’ve gotten older into this idea of not trying. I think that this opinion on failure is much healthier. Trying new things is something that helps me to become a better person. Keep trying, I will.
What are you afraid of?