Every time I see the above picture, I get a little pang in my chest as I quickly reflect on whether or not I’ve been doing what makes my soul happy. I actually have to see this picture pretty often because it’s the background on my computer screen. It’s a constant reminder of consciously making decisions that lead to me being happy, not necessarily making all of my decisions based on the happiness of those around me.
This week, I did something that I’ve only ever done during the season of Lent. I deleted the facebook app off of my phone. I’m a perpetual scroller. If I’m standing in line, I scroll absentmindedly. If I’m waiting on something to happen, I scroll. If I’m watching football with Nathan, I might scroll. It had become this weird time-sucking down the rabbit hole thing that more often than not left me angry with the world. So, I deleted it. In the middle of the afternoon. Facebook was doing the opposite of making my soul happy. It was stealing my joy and stealing my time.
The feeling of quiet contentment washed over me after my decision was made. I knew I had made the right choice. Who knows, maybe I will quietly delete more of my social media sites from my phone. Maybe I’m on my way to a more content life because whether we intend for it to be or not, social media has become a way for us to compare to each other, to compare what we have or don’t have. That’s not the kind of person that I aspire to be. I aspire to be the person that is full of love. The person who, even when she doesn’t understand, loves others for what and who they are. The person who is accepting and caring and sees differences as something to celebrate.
I know that this is a lofty goal. There are still more times in a day than I would like to admit where I have to check myself, times when I can feel the annoyance building. There are still times when I have to remind myself to react with love when learners are driving me crazy or people are rude. We’re all human, right? We’re all just trying to get from point A to point B in the best way possible for us.
Hopefully, for me, deleting facebook is me getting closer to my goal. What do you need to do in order to get closer to who you want to be? Closer to the things that make your soul happy?
P.S. All of my blogs are still automatically going to post to Facebook, and I’m not deleting my account. I can still check it on the computer, but I find I don’t want to do that as much.